I am learning a lot lately about figuring out what true joy and contentment is. As it has been said, joy is not in the material or the tangible but rather in the spirit of things. I get a constant reminder sometimes of my past mistakes, failures, regrets and then fall into this mind trap of thinking I am no good to anyone. Where does this thinking come from? How is it learned? Certainly not from the God I serve. It is at that moment that I have to ask God to forgive me for such lies and shame so that I can be renewed by his opinion of who I am instead of the world's outlook regarding my fallbacks.
Why is it that we're so willing to look at ourselves from the eyes of those in the world around us? Other people did not create us. We are not perfect in anyone's eyes... especially when we look through our own eyes. At least I'm not. We always have critisism for the person next to us or that person taking forever in the check out line who's kid's are being obnoxious.... oh wait, those are my kids! Ha! I was having this discussion with my husband the other day about how I recognise that I need to learn to take my thoughts captive and re-train myself to think life into my thought-life. His response was this:
The moment you think that you can do it on your own - you've already failed. You were created in His image and to live a life sustained in Him. It is by his power that you draw your strength to get through your toughest battle. No matter how hard to try each and everytime you think a negative thought - you will stumble because you are not asking for his help to change you. You need to ask him to change you from the inside-out.
Now, this is why I married this man. Ever heard of that scripture verse, "Iron sharpens iron"? That would be my hubby. He points me right back to where I need to be anytime I need a good kick in the behind. He's right, you know. There have been many times when I have said to myself, 'I will never be like this person or turn into that...' I even had a counselor once tell me several years back that the moment I said that to myself, I became that behavior. Yikes. That is how powerful our thoughts are, folks.
So now days I find myself sitting in my bed at night before I go to sleep, renewing my mind with the one thing that can heal my thought-life and my seemingly rugged heart these days.... the Word of God. Because with Him ALL things are possible. Not always to our expectations but only He knows the reasons for all things. And to that I say that He is good and His love endures forever.