This past month or so has been very trying in the sense that my mind and emotions have been on other things that cause me to ponder on the purpose of things or shall I say, the reason behind why some people go through harder times in order to get something simple accomplished as opposed to others.
My husband and I are expecting our second child in four months, however, there have been some complications/setbacks in this pregnancy that we could have never have known about previously. It has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. It is such a rare situation that most have never heard of it and wouldn't have the slightest clue as to how to even imagine what we have to go through to have this baby - healthy.
I will say that there have been many times that my husband and I have questioned ourselves and our faith, asking God, 'did we do something that was unpleasing to you?' or 'Is there something you want us to learn from all of this?' Truly, as a normal human being we begin to question our motives on things and if there is a reason for the fact that we have to struggle in life. And truthfully, the answer to this question is... grace. That's the most significant answer we can come up with when we pray for our baby, our situation, and even when we confide in our pastor. Grace. It is God's gift to us. We simply need to put all of our faith and trust into Him and believe that his grace is for us, being confident in his promises and truths. Its all in the Word of God, which we must take into full action and apply it to our lives and to our prayer life - and stand on that.
On a more personal level, standing in the middle of worship service on Sunday morning I found myself singing the praise and worship and something inside me prompted me to visualize myself standing in front of the throne of God and offering my whole self to him. Along with that, I gave him all of my worries/ concerns about the health and wellbeing of our baby. I also laid my baby at his feet (even though, technically, baby is still forming in my womb) for his keeping and his protection. And amazingly after giving him everything I was holding onto so tightly, my worries have turned into, 'Lord, I trust you. I know our baby is in your hands. I know you'll see to it that she comes to full health.'
When you come to the full realization that you truly do not have any power or control over a difficult situation, the only thing left to do is to completely surrender it to God. All of it. Let him have the worry, the stress, the anxiety (yes, I've dealt with all of these things.... its no fun), continually be in steadfast prayer and then allow Him to do his plan. God is good. We may not understand all of what comes to pass in life, nor do we necessarily deserve everything that life hands out to us. Yet, it is in our best interest to learn and get the most of our experiences to grow into greater character for the glory of God.