My life is an open canvas. I see it. I know it. I fill it. Every day. Yet at times it seems that I'm not filling it with anything of real meaning. I love Jesus. I love my husband. I love my children. Passionately and with great reverance. Even so, what is keeping me from experiencing great peace and joy? I am easily irritable and frustrated with my children who often times don't listen or make bad choices in our home.... so I am irritable with my husband who, let's be honest, he's one of the kids and plays it well. Hahaa.. Ahh, yes, these are the days of my life. Simple but how does it feel so complicated? It feels far from simple. Far from the charmed life at times. I am blessed and I know I am. But why isn't my heart feeling as thankful as it should be with such a blessed life?
Enter: Anxiety and distress. Over what? Over everything. Every little frieking detail of the daily life. The five year old sasses off. Then chooses to sneak into the pantry and scarf down as much snack food as he can until he ultimately gets caught red-handed. Three year old takes every single play dress she owns and throws them all over the playroom. Five year old then proceeds to throw her 'pretties' everywhere. Three year old belts out blood-curtling screams that makes my blood boil with each getting louder, and LOUDER. Almost 24 month old screams every time a toy is taken away by said older brother and sister........ all the while there are three or four loads of laundry to be either done, folded, or put away. Floor is a disgusting disaster from breakfast, lunch, and snack... needs to be swept and mopped. Floors are begging to be vacuumed - due to the explosion of before breakfast snack sneaking that occured at 7:30 in the morning before I managed to crawl out of bed hearing those horrible screams. Dishes in the dishwasher need to be unloaded, then washer needs to be loaded. Don't even get me started on the dusting that I haven't gotten to, the toilet that needs to be cleaned since it hasn't been cleaned since last week, or the basement project that I have been aspiring to get to --- the storage area where about half of it needs to be weeded through and just tossed into the garbage or hauled off to Goodwill. Oh good. My husband is home. But wait, he has appointments to get to after dinner. False alarm. Back to the evening all by myself.
Does this sound familiar to any of you? Or am I the only crazy woman over here? Peace. I need peace. And this is where the Lord steps in and says,
"My Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
And, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you for my yoke is easy." Matthew 11:28-30
Easier said than done, I know. But do it. You'll be glad you did. It might take some practice... it takes me some time to really do it but once you figure out the groove of letting it go (the stress of it all) it gets easier. Let Jesus have it. All of it. Because you don't need it. It is peace we need.